..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
