i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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