Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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