GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Randomize
