your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
