When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
