you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
