he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
