Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
