I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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