Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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