I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
