someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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