You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sponge bath it is.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
