I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
