somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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