Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
