he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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