When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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