Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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