I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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