Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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