If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
