spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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