So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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