It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it's like iHOP with fire
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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