Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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