So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
