They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Also, beer. Big fan.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
