Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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