Im at strip club and am horny
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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