So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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