u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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