Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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