She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
