Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
