windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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