"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
