just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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