North Korea, Best Korea!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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