you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The feeling are messing with the penis
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
