Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
