brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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