we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think my vagina is haunted
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
