with your own penis?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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