i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
