i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
