Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have fence marks all over my body
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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