And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
