The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
