You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
