well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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