So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
