is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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